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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
mrdoriangrey's InsaneJournal:
| Saturday, April 14th, 2012 | |
| 1:01 am | Friday April 13, 2012 6 pm PST Private to VERY close friends and family. Not Penny. Not anyone that would tell her. It's fitting I make this entry today on Friday the 13th. Several weeks ago I told Penny I loved her. I told her I left her before because I was scared of hurting her, of our relationship going stagnant sort of like with Amy. She's meant so much to me for so long, a love that was just all consuming instead of slowly building like with Amy who remains to this day a good friend. It was different, and I was worried I'd screw it up or I'd lose her or hurt her. Something. So I ran. I ran like a coward. When I came to LA I never thought we'd get to see each other again. I never thought there would be a possibility of us being US again. But I was able to run into Penny, like fate, and thought we could make it work again. I received a text message saying that her husband for the first time in their years of maintaining a relationship told her he loved her and she was choosing him. Just like that. My hopes, my dreams, everything was dashed. I'm so hurt. I never felt pain like this before. And I'm so ANGRY! She didn't give me a chance and just tossed me aside because of ONE I love you in YEARS! It's my own fault. I never should have let her go. And I'll try to be her friend still, but to say that I'm not crushed is an understatement I'm trying to find myself again. Trying to find what I want to do for me. But it's hard when you have this constant ache in your body from your heart and the lost possibility and you only have your own cowardice to blame. I'm trying to be a good father, a good friend, a good teacher, but it's difficult to focus. Being around Hollie has helped some, but it still sucks. Summer will be here soon. I haven't decided if I should continue to throw myself into my work, I'm currently signed up for every extra curricular and event until graduation just to keep myself busy. I've been debating between going home to Chicago to get away from everything for the summer or picking up summer school to occupy my time. Some guys at work took me out last week. It's just not the same. So it goes... |
| Wednesday, January 18th, 2012 | |
| 10:17 pm | January 18, 2012 5pm PST How many days until spring break? |
| Friday, December 30th, 2011 | |
| 10:43 pm | 12/30/11 5pm EST (LA) Christmas was great. It was nice to spend it with the girls. Didn't realize how much I missed them. Missed my sisters like crazy though. Skype just isn't the same. So I got on a plane after lunch on Christmas day and flew home. Made it in time for dinner even. I don't know when I'll be back to LA. The dates are flexible between the second and the fifth, but we'll see. < Private except very close friends, Amy, Greys > I met with Penny a while ago. I'm not sure what I think. I'm not sure what to do. I miss her. I want her to be part of my life. I'm scared I'm going to hurt her, but after talking to Amy it helped me realize that by being separated we don't even have a chance at happiness, much less a chance to hurt each other. But I don't know if she wants me back. I don't know what to do. < /private > < Private to Penny > How was your holiday? I'd love to meet up sometime before the break is over. Maybe you could show me around sometime and we could get dinner? |
| Monday, December 5th, 2011 | |
| 3:21 pm | Because I'm easily enabled Poor Amy and Hollie seemed so lonely without their baby daddy. So I introduce the new now Scott Grey. 30, in LA, working as an English teacher. May end up with Penny. Would love to play with his sisters and his brother's baby mama. Any friends would be great, too. Posting his personality up here, but the rest of his history and such are on his still needs to be made pretty page. ALL THE PLOT! Personality: Passionate. Laid Back. Caring. Compassionate. Scott’s an all around good sort of guy. He moved across the country to be closer to his daughter, and he genuinely cares for her mother, even if he’s a bit confused about their relationship right now. Add in there some confusion about his other ex, Penny, and you can see how caring he is because he doesn’t want to hurt either of them and doesn’t want to have another lost love because of marital problems. Maybe that makes him afraid of commitment, maybe a little insecure, but once he gets his head and his heart sorted out everything will work out fine. When in the classroom, Scott is really caring and compassionate, but he pushes his students. He values knowledge and thinks that his students could learn a lot from the past. He pushed them hard, but he’s always there for them when they need somebody. They love him for it, and for supporting them. On Friday nights you can often find him at the football field with his daughter and Amy cheering on his students. Sometimes his devotion to his teaching can be a pain for those around him, especially when he’s spending extra time counseling kids, grading papers, or helping with exra-curriculars like NHS, STUCO, and debate, but those closest to him usually understand how important it is to be there for the kids since some of them weren’t lucky to have a friend or family member to be there for them. Sometimes his compassion and passion drives him to do things without thinking. Though laid back and happy with just hanging out, he can be a bit of a hothead at times. It’s often times more than a little annoying and has proven fatal in some of his previous relationships where he says something he doesn’t really mean and gets carried away with it, and often feels either guilty or vindicated in his actions, which doesn’t help either. But as in with all things in life, he’s a human growing and making mistakes as he goes. ( Read more... ) |
| Friday, December 2nd, 2011 | |
| 8:25 pm | ( bio ) |